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View Full Version : The Asshole Bill of Rights



Angelique
05-18-2006, 07:40 PM
#1 I will live my life the way I deem fit, screw political correctness.

#2 I have the right to choose my religious path if I choose one at all. Christianity be damned.

#3 If I want to eat a cow, I will eat a cow.

#4 I have the right to hang up on telemarketers midsentence and not have to worry about whether or not I was polite.

#5 If I think someone's an idiot, I will tell them they're an idiot.

#6 I have the right to tell children that their parents aren't raising them correctly. (Think of how many times you've been at a supermarket and heard a screaming child the entire time...what exactly would you want to say that'd be any nicer?)

#7 If you don't know what you're talking about, shut the hell up.

#8 You may have the right to speak, but I don't have to listen to you.

#9 If I want to be rude, loud, and obnoxious, it's a free country.

#10 If I want to go to a bar, destroy my liver with alcohol, clog my arteries with junk , and have unsafe sex with the woman/man I just met, I ought to be able to smoke while I'm at it.

#11 I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can go to Jenny Craig.

#12 Jerry Springer for President!!!!!!!

#13 Denis Leary should be proclaimed God and given reign over society.

#14 Your daughter just got drunk at a party, made a slut of herself, and you're worried about my religious beliefs?

#15 Before you tell me how to run my life, be certain that your own is squeaky clean.

#16 Just because you work at McDonald's doesn't mean you have an excuse to have an I.Q. under twelve.

#17 (Courtesy of George Carlin) Just because you're a student does not mean that you're any more enlightened than someone that works at Blockbuster.

#18 Speaking of Blockbuster, if I return the tape, you do not have to actually sue me for $15!!

#19 If you're stupid enough to give me credit, deal with the consequences.

#20 It's ignorant to charge someone $25 if they bounce a check for $5. (If I didn't have the $5, what makes you think I'm going to have $25 you retards!!)

#21 If you don't like the way I drive then at the next red light get out from under my car.

#22 If your dog or cat is so smart, then why do you talk to it like it's a newborn baby?

#23 If I shoot you while you're committing a crime, and you try to sue me for it, I'll shoot you again.

#24 Courtesy of Ben Franklin: Anyone who would give up freedoms and liberties for temporary security deserves neither freedom or security.

#25 If you live in Tornado Alley, don't whine when you get hit by a tornado.

shakie
05-19-2006, 01:07 AM
ha ha i agree with all of em.