Black Widow
11-07-2008, 06:10 PM
Well boys and girls, I just made my first full-fledged road trip with my new partner, the Angriest Man in the World, Tazz, as we drove together from Tampa Tuesday morning to Orlando for the WWE’s flagship network broadcast Friday Night SmackDown.
Here are 10 things I learned on this particular road trip about my new partner:
1. Tazz wears a size 56 sport coat and has 37-inch sleeves. For a guy under 6 feet, those are some long arms.
2. He was a better football nose guard than an offensive guard and was benching over 5 bills when he was in college.
3. Tazz’s college football career ended when he cursed out the university’s athletic director. (That’ll do it every time.)
4. Tazz’s high school in Brooklyn was much like the H.S. in the movie “Wildcats” starring Goldie Hawn. Dangerous.
5. Tazz carries no loose change, so toll roads with no toll booth attendants do not endear themselves to him.
6. The best mood he got in was late Tuesday when I introduced him to Steak ‘n Shake and he was soothed by sipping on a vanilla shake.
7. He owns an Oxford Color Thesaurus and he uses it. I just bought one today. See what an influence Tazz has become already on my career?
8. I strongly suggest that no member of the WWE Universe (OK so I said it) approach the Human Suplex Machine for an autograph while he is dining, and for goodness sakes do not insist on shaking his hand while he is eating.
9. Tazz “may be” the Tony Soprano of Long Island Little League baseball but I can’t be sure.
10. If you put tomatoes on his sandwich you are likely going to be choked out.
Even though the appearance of the mighty Undertaker was apparently a closely guarded secret on Monday night, Tazz and I enjoyed broadcasting Taker and JBL’s fast and furious encounter during Monday Night Raw’s 800th episode celebration. I particularly appreciated the standing ovation the fans in Tampa gave me which is another reminder why I love this business so much. Our fans have embraced me for over three decades, which is significantly more than a couple of my ex-wives. Present bride excluded.
My favorite part of Monday Night Raw was watching all the old clips that were played. Did you catch The Fink hyping up the crowd on the first Monday Night Raw from the lovely Manhattan Center, all the classic Heenan material, and the obscure shot of The Fink’s actual vehicle getting its windshield broken much to Howard’s chagrin?
Poor Mike Adamle apparently just couldn’t take it any longer as the GM of Monday Night Raw and abruptly resigned which puts the WWE’s flagship cable show without a rudder … again. Adamle was like Sgt. Hulka of “Stripes” fame … the big toe of Raw. I know Mike was VERY upset in a bizarre sort of way during the day but Mike is strong willed and will rebound. Hell, Mike, I never got the chance to ever resign from Raw, but I’ve been fired about as many times as N.Y. Yankee owner George Steinbrenner pink slipped former Yankee manager, the late Billy Martin.
jrsbarbq.com
Here are 10 things I learned on this particular road trip about my new partner:
1. Tazz wears a size 56 sport coat and has 37-inch sleeves. For a guy under 6 feet, those are some long arms.
2. He was a better football nose guard than an offensive guard and was benching over 5 bills when he was in college.
3. Tazz’s college football career ended when he cursed out the university’s athletic director. (That’ll do it every time.)
4. Tazz’s high school in Brooklyn was much like the H.S. in the movie “Wildcats” starring Goldie Hawn. Dangerous.
5. Tazz carries no loose change, so toll roads with no toll booth attendants do not endear themselves to him.
6. The best mood he got in was late Tuesday when I introduced him to Steak ‘n Shake and he was soothed by sipping on a vanilla shake.
7. He owns an Oxford Color Thesaurus and he uses it. I just bought one today. See what an influence Tazz has become already on my career?
8. I strongly suggest that no member of the WWE Universe (OK so I said it) approach the Human Suplex Machine for an autograph while he is dining, and for goodness sakes do not insist on shaking his hand while he is eating.
9. Tazz “may be” the Tony Soprano of Long Island Little League baseball but I can’t be sure.
10. If you put tomatoes on his sandwich you are likely going to be choked out.
Even though the appearance of the mighty Undertaker was apparently a closely guarded secret on Monday night, Tazz and I enjoyed broadcasting Taker and JBL’s fast and furious encounter during Monday Night Raw’s 800th episode celebration. I particularly appreciated the standing ovation the fans in Tampa gave me which is another reminder why I love this business so much. Our fans have embraced me for over three decades, which is significantly more than a couple of my ex-wives. Present bride excluded.
My favorite part of Monday Night Raw was watching all the old clips that were played. Did you catch The Fink hyping up the crowd on the first Monday Night Raw from the lovely Manhattan Center, all the classic Heenan material, and the obscure shot of The Fink’s actual vehicle getting its windshield broken much to Howard’s chagrin?
Poor Mike Adamle apparently just couldn’t take it any longer as the GM of Monday Night Raw and abruptly resigned which puts the WWE’s flagship cable show without a rudder … again. Adamle was like Sgt. Hulka of “Stripes” fame … the big toe of Raw. I know Mike was VERY upset in a bizarre sort of way during the day but Mike is strong willed and will rebound. Hell, Mike, I never got the chance to ever resign from Raw, but I’ve been fired about as many times as N.Y. Yankee owner George Steinbrenner pink slipped former Yankee manager, the late Billy Martin.
jrsbarbq.com