King Placebo
03-08-2006, 09:42 AM
Velocity/Dark Matches
Match 1
Matt Hardy vs. Chuck Palumbo
Nothing special here, Hardy hits the leg drop, wins with the twist of fate.
Winner: Matt Hardy
After the match Animal ran out and jumped Hardy.
Match 2
Simon Dean vs. Super Crazy
Dean got on the mic and said he couldn’t believe Super Crazy was so lazy he had to
ride a lawnmower to the ring. This was a great match, I miss Nova. Lot of cool chain
wrestling. I can’t remember the exact finish, but Crazy won.
Winner: Super Crazy
Match 3
Scotty 2 Hotty and Funaki vs. Jamie Noble and Kid Kash
This was a pretty good match, for a Scotty 2 Hotty match. I love Noble and Kash,
Jamie was the man in ROH. Lot of cool double team maneuvers from Jamie and Kash. The
end came when Scotty was going for the worm and Noble hit him from behind and nailed
him with the tiger driver.
Winners: Kash and Noble
Match 4
Tatanka Vs Jobber
See ten years ago.
Winner: Tatanka.
Match 5
WWE Tag Team Championship
MNM vs. Paul London and Brian Kendrick
This was an excellent match, everyone needs to watch Velocity this week. London hit
a drop-sault on Nitro and landed on Mercury for the cover, it was cool. London had
the match won twice but Kendrick or Melina distracted both times the ref. Melina
pushed Paul off the top rope when he went for the London Star Press. MNM went for
the snap shot but Kendrick hit a super kick on Mercury, and London DDTed Nitro! I
really thought they had it there but MNM threw Kendrick out and hit the snap shot on
London. 1-2-3
Winners and still champs: MNM
SMACKDOWN
Mark Henry comes down with Daivari and said he was overlooked. Batista overlooked
him and he hurt him so bad he had to give up the title. Then Angle overlooked him,
Teddy Long overlooked him and Undertaker overlooked him for a title shot, he called
Angle out. Angle told Henry he was a wrestling machine and hit the ring, they
brawled, Orton ran down and jumped Angle. Double team time till Rey makes the save,
he ended up getting smashed by Henry. Theodore Long came out and made the main event
match up, Henry and Orton vs. Mysterio and Angle.
Match 1
Money in the Bank Qualifier
Finlay vs. Lashley
This one didn’t even make it to the ring, Finlay nailed lashley with the shalalee
and they brawled all the way back stage.
Next out was JBL. He thanked us for all of our get -well cards. He then talked about
how Stone Cold left his name out when discussing the greatest Texan wrestlers of all
time with wwe.com. He challenged Stone Cold to a beer-drinking contest at SNME.
Match 2
William Regal vs. Pirate Paul Burchill
Burchill swung out on a big rope. His entrance video is kind of funny. This was the
sleeper of the night, the crowd didn’t know who to cheer for. Burchill won with the
exploder suplex.
Winner: Pirate Paul
Booker T came out with Sharmell, he had a bag of complaint letters about the
Boogeyman, and this was some funny shit. Theodore Long told him he could take up all
his complaints with the Boogeyman at SNME. Just then red smoke came out of the bag,
and the Boogeyman came out. Booker and Sharmell took off through the crowd,
Boogeyman dumped out the bag of letters but it was full of worms, which he proceeded
to eat.
Backstage we see Gregory Helms sporting an Owen Wilson like nose job. He tells Long
his nose was broken during the overseas tour. Theodore says he feels bad and for
making Helms defend the cruiser weight title every week, and tonight he will get a
break . . . from defending the title, because tonight he will face Chris Benoit!
Match 3
Jillian Hall vs. Kristal
This was a "Diva’s Undressed" match. Jillian has a nice nice body.
Winner: Kristil
Match 4
Gregory Helms vs. Chris Benoit
This match was fun, lots of chain wrestling and rest holds. Benoit hit a nice
German, Helms hit the eye of the hurricane. Benoit locked in the sharpshooter but
Helms made it to the ropes. Helms tried to leave but Noble, London, Kendrick, and
Kash threw him back in the ring. Helms went for a shining wizard but Benoit ducked
and nailed a huge release German suplex. Top rope headbutt, and then he applied the
corssface right on Helms broken nose. Helms tapped right away.
Winner: Chris Benoit
They showed an Animal promo on the screen where he said he was the road warrior, not
hawk or
Hidenright. He’ll have a match with Hardy either next week.
Then they showed Lashley and Finlay battle outside, Lashley flipped a car over and
it nearly crushed Finlay.
Main Event
Rey Mysterio and Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton and Mark Henry
Great ovation, crowd was hot for everyone. Angle and Orton in particular have great
chemistry. Another BS finish when Orton slammed Angle into the steps and Henry
splashed the ref in the corner. Daivari got a table and set it up and it broke. He
got another table and put Rey on it and when he did the leg fell off. He got a third
table and set Rey up for a splash but Angle made the save. Angle tried to suplex
henry off the top rope through the table but he pushed him off and then splashed
Angle through the table!!!! Taker’s music hit and he said he’d face Henry at WM22 in
a CASKET MATCH.
End of Smackdown
Undertaker came out and fought Orton and Henry in a handicap match. Taker won with a
tombstone on Orton!
After it all we waited outside to see the wrestler leave. Paul London signed
autographs for literally an hour, I shook his hand and we talked about ROH a little,
he is one of my favorites and is the nicest wrestler I’ve ever met, he took pictures
with everyone and joked around with kids, great great guy. Also met Lashley, another
really nice guy, they were the only two who talked to the fans.
Match 1
Matt Hardy vs. Chuck Palumbo
Nothing special here, Hardy hits the leg drop, wins with the twist of fate.
Winner: Matt Hardy
After the match Animal ran out and jumped Hardy.
Match 2
Simon Dean vs. Super Crazy
Dean got on the mic and said he couldn’t believe Super Crazy was so lazy he had to
ride a lawnmower to the ring. This was a great match, I miss Nova. Lot of cool chain
wrestling. I can’t remember the exact finish, but Crazy won.
Winner: Super Crazy
Match 3
Scotty 2 Hotty and Funaki vs. Jamie Noble and Kid Kash
This was a pretty good match, for a Scotty 2 Hotty match. I love Noble and Kash,
Jamie was the man in ROH. Lot of cool double team maneuvers from Jamie and Kash. The
end came when Scotty was going for the worm and Noble hit him from behind and nailed
him with the tiger driver.
Winners: Kash and Noble
Match 4
Tatanka Vs Jobber
See ten years ago.
Winner: Tatanka.
Match 5
WWE Tag Team Championship
MNM vs. Paul London and Brian Kendrick
This was an excellent match, everyone needs to watch Velocity this week. London hit
a drop-sault on Nitro and landed on Mercury for the cover, it was cool. London had
the match won twice but Kendrick or Melina distracted both times the ref. Melina
pushed Paul off the top rope when he went for the London Star Press. MNM went for
the snap shot but Kendrick hit a super kick on Mercury, and London DDTed Nitro! I
really thought they had it there but MNM threw Kendrick out and hit the snap shot on
London. 1-2-3
Winners and still champs: MNM
SMACKDOWN
Mark Henry comes down with Daivari and said he was overlooked. Batista overlooked
him and he hurt him so bad he had to give up the title. Then Angle overlooked him,
Teddy Long overlooked him and Undertaker overlooked him for a title shot, he called
Angle out. Angle told Henry he was a wrestling machine and hit the ring, they
brawled, Orton ran down and jumped Angle. Double team time till Rey makes the save,
he ended up getting smashed by Henry. Theodore Long came out and made the main event
match up, Henry and Orton vs. Mysterio and Angle.
Match 1
Money in the Bank Qualifier
Finlay vs. Lashley
This one didn’t even make it to the ring, Finlay nailed lashley with the shalalee
and they brawled all the way back stage.
Next out was JBL. He thanked us for all of our get -well cards. He then talked about
how Stone Cold left his name out when discussing the greatest Texan wrestlers of all
time with wwe.com. He challenged Stone Cold to a beer-drinking contest at SNME.
Match 2
William Regal vs. Pirate Paul Burchill
Burchill swung out on a big rope. His entrance video is kind of funny. This was the
sleeper of the night, the crowd didn’t know who to cheer for. Burchill won with the
exploder suplex.
Winner: Pirate Paul
Booker T came out with Sharmell, he had a bag of complaint letters about the
Boogeyman, and this was some funny shit. Theodore Long told him he could take up all
his complaints with the Boogeyman at SNME. Just then red smoke came out of the bag,
and the Boogeyman came out. Booker and Sharmell took off through the crowd,
Boogeyman dumped out the bag of letters but it was full of worms, which he proceeded
to eat.
Backstage we see Gregory Helms sporting an Owen Wilson like nose job. He tells Long
his nose was broken during the overseas tour. Theodore says he feels bad and for
making Helms defend the cruiser weight title every week, and tonight he will get a
break . . . from defending the title, because tonight he will face Chris Benoit!
Match 3
Jillian Hall vs. Kristal
This was a "Diva’s Undressed" match. Jillian has a nice nice body.
Winner: Kristil
Match 4
Gregory Helms vs. Chris Benoit
This match was fun, lots of chain wrestling and rest holds. Benoit hit a nice
German, Helms hit the eye of the hurricane. Benoit locked in the sharpshooter but
Helms made it to the ropes. Helms tried to leave but Noble, London, Kendrick, and
Kash threw him back in the ring. Helms went for a shining wizard but Benoit ducked
and nailed a huge release German suplex. Top rope headbutt, and then he applied the
corssface right on Helms broken nose. Helms tapped right away.
Winner: Chris Benoit
They showed an Animal promo on the screen where he said he was the road warrior, not
hawk or
Hidenright. He’ll have a match with Hardy either next week.
Then they showed Lashley and Finlay battle outside, Lashley flipped a car over and
it nearly crushed Finlay.
Main Event
Rey Mysterio and Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton and Mark Henry
Great ovation, crowd was hot for everyone. Angle and Orton in particular have great
chemistry. Another BS finish when Orton slammed Angle into the steps and Henry
splashed the ref in the corner. Daivari got a table and set it up and it broke. He
got another table and put Rey on it and when he did the leg fell off. He got a third
table and set Rey up for a splash but Angle made the save. Angle tried to suplex
henry off the top rope through the table but he pushed him off and then splashed
Angle through the table!!!! Taker’s music hit and he said he’d face Henry at WM22 in
a CASKET MATCH.
End of Smackdown
Undertaker came out and fought Orton and Henry in a handicap match. Taker won with a
tombstone on Orton!
After it all we waited outside to see the wrestler leave. Paul London signed
autographs for literally an hour, I shook his hand and we talked about ROH a little,
he is one of my favorites and is the nicest wrestler I’ve ever met, he took pictures
with everyone and joked around with kids, great great guy. Also met Lashley, another
really nice guy, they were the only two who talked to the fans.