Angelique
04-11-2006, 06:00 PM
Dear Bubba and Mickey
When I say to move, it means to go someplace else, not to switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in my way.
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain *your* food. All other dishes are mine and contain *my* food. Please note that placing *your* paw print in the middle of *my* plate and food does not stake a claim making it *your* plate and food.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help in your quest to reach the bottom first, because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think that I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. I KNOW this. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to one another, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge of the door and try to pull it open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Honest! Also, I have been using the bathroom by myself for quite some time -- canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
I can't stress this one enough -- kiss me, THEN go smell the other dog's/cat's behind.
Sincerely,The Hand That Feeds You!
When I say to move, it means to go someplace else, not to switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in my way.
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain *your* food. All other dishes are mine and contain *my* food. Please note that placing *your* paw print in the middle of *my* plate and food does not stake a claim making it *your* plate and food.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help in your quest to reach the bottom first, because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think that I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. I KNOW this. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to one another, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge of the door and try to pull it open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Honest! Also, I have been using the bathroom by myself for quite some time -- canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
I can't stress this one enough -- kiss me, THEN go smell the other dog's/cat's behind.
Sincerely,The Hand That Feeds You!