AFC1986
05-16-2007, 11:35 AM
**ECW on Sci-Fi Report for May 15, 2007**
Match Results:
Rob Van Dam d. Snitsky (DQ)
CM Punk d. Stevie/Steven Richards (Go 2 Sleep)
Kevin Thorn d. Nunzio (The Dark Kiss)
Bobby Lashley d. Matt Striker, Marcus CorVon, and Elijah Burke (Spear/PINN)
The EXTREME News: Sabu got fired, and his partner in crime, RVD got killed with a nasty looking chair shot. CM Punk picked up a victory, and the build for Judgment Day continued. The PPV is this Sunday, and I predict is will get more buys that TNA Sacrifice, but less than Wrestlemania. Also, TNA’s new World Heavyweight championship belt looks like the BIG GOLD BELT~!, but with a lot more pointy parts, possibly to use as a weapon. Russo probably designed it.
The EXTREME Recap: House is the greatest show on television. Yes, it may be repetitive, but I can completely relate to House’s negative disposition on life. Heroes is great as well, and the cheerleader was hot. She was in Remember the Titans when she was a small child, but that was many years ago. Anyway, on to the ECDub’ report.
It’s less than a week until the NEXT PPV, Judgment Day, and we start things off with a recap of last night’s events on Monday Night RAW. Lashley got his hands on Umaga and Shane, but was taken out by a belt shot from the mighty Dr. McMahon. Speaking of which, Dr. McMahon is live via satellite from backstage at the Smackdown/ECW tapings. He announces the main event of The New Breed vs. Bobby Lashley. I bet Striker takes the pin in that one because you can’t have one most black brother pin another one. That would be racist.
They didn’t even have time to put the ECW entrance way up this week? Or maybe it’s a new look? I call laziness. Regardless, RVD is in the ring, preparing to get berried by Snitsky, so we’ll take a break and be right back. Also, Sabu got fired. They wished him the best in his future endeavors. Hello to my new WrestleMag.com readers. I like you people a lot.
Back from break. Snitsky is walking to the ring, and my Lord, his bacne is the worse case of bacne that I have ever seen, and he is oiled up. I bet that’s what caused it. My grandma tells me that grease causes that sort of thing. Maybe he has an injury that needed healed so he took some steroids, but that would be making accusations. The crowd is really quiet. Somebody in the first row just hit the Randy Orton pose for the cameras. I used to do that in the dorms a lot, except I was naked and soaking wet from a shower. I wonder what CM Punk is doing on the show tonight.
Snitsky just yelled, “Shut up!” toward the crowd. The funny thing is that the crowd isn’t really saying anything. It’s similar to three weeks ago when Sandman yelled out, “Next week!” toward somebody, and the only thing that really happened was he got squashed by Snitsky. Wait a second. There’s the common denominator - Gene Snitsky. RVD is building some offense…or is it offence? I wish Microsoft Word would tell me something, but it isn’t, so I’m just leaving both. Snitsky snapped and took out RVD with a steel chair. The crowd is letting him know that he sucks. That chair shot must’ve sucked. Anyway, that’s over with. Let’s move on…after the commercial break. CM Punk is next. This makes me happy.
CM Punk brings us back from break. He’s wearing tape around his waist. Tazz informs me that this is because of the kick from one Elijah Burke last week. His opponent is Stevie/Steven Richards. This is possibly the fourth or fifth time they’ve met. I’m glad to see Richards is still employed. I wish he’d grow the mid-90s mullet back. His hair was awesome. Anyway, Stevie is a heel so, naturally, he attacks the ribs of Punk. The crowd is booing. They’re either booing Richards or they’re bored or both. Nice double-stomp onto Punk’s sternum from Richards. That could be considered a high-impact maneuver. Two knees from Punk then a bulldog reversed into a dropkick from Richards. Tornado DDT reversed into the GTS, and Punk takes the victory. As Joey Styles put it - “Richards up top for the Tornado DDT, but instead he’ll GO (pause) TO (pause) SLEEP.” Somewhere KENTA is weeping. That wasn’t a bad little match.
Backstage, we’ve got another awesome segment with the New Breed. I love how Monty Brown is always bouncing around during these segments. This should continue. Every week, he needs to be doing a different whacky exercise. It needs to be taken completely over the top. It would be great. Anyway, the gist of it is that CorVon wants a piece of Lashley, Burke is ready for Punk on Sunday, and Striker smells like defeat…or maybe it was fecal matter. BREAK. I bet the Major Brothers will be next, plus some whacky segment with Kevin Thorn.
I was partially right. Here comes Kevin Thorn with Ariel. He’ll be defeating Nunzio on this night. Thorn doesn’t break in the corner, and the referee tries to break it up. Somebody forgot to tell him that Mordecai has till five. The ref seems to trying to get himself over. I’ve never seen this one before. I don’t like him one bit. Here comes my ten month old nephew. He’s reaching for my laptop. Instead, he grabs the remote, and I bet he’ll try to change the channel. I’m going to wait and see what he does. He ran off with it, and I had to run after him to keep him from trying to climb the stairs. While all this was going on, Kevin Thorn won with the Dark Kiss. Time for a commercial break, but not before they inform us that Extreme Expose is next. I hate my life.
Extreme Expose did some stuff. I paid no attention to it all. I have yet to figure out their purpose. They just come out and do some bad dancing and nobody cares. Following this, we get the same promo that started the show. Lashley is talking, and it is great, not because he’s gotten any better at talking, but because the entire crowd is yelling, “WHAT?!” every time he pauses. I love crowds who do the opposite of what they’re supposed to. Styles and Tazz run down the Judgment Day card. I probably will not be ordering this, but the Great Khali match sounds as though it will be highly entertaining. The New Breed hits the ring. Matt Striker has awesome tights. Will Bobby Lashley defeat three men all at once before another one on three match at Judgment Day or will the crowd be completely apathetic? We’ll find out more after the break.
We’re back from break, and we are graced by the presence of Bobby Lashley. Burke starts the match out with Lashley, but tags in CorVon. I’ve actually looked forward to this one for a while. I do find it rather humorous that when put in the ring with guys like CorVon or Burke that Lashley doesn’t look all that big after all. Matt Striker just tagged himself in. I predict that he’ll take the pin fall here. Ooooh…sick bump to the floor from Striker. Lashley just screwed up the POUNCE~!…period. He just stopped and then threw himself over the top rope with little, if any, contact made. I hate Bobby Lashley. He has officially made my list. If you feel the need to find out what my list is, just e-mail me and ask me about it. There are plenty of people on it.
Okay, it’s 10:03 Central Standard Time, and this match is over. Lashley beat Striker.
Final Thoughts: The show seemed to drag a bit this week, but it did seem to do serve its purpose, which was to build toward the two ECW matches on the PPV. I would’ve appreciated a little more interaction between Punk and Burke, but I understand that Extreme Expose needed to be on the show.
credit: wrestlemag.com
Match Results:
Rob Van Dam d. Snitsky (DQ)
CM Punk d. Stevie/Steven Richards (Go 2 Sleep)
Kevin Thorn d. Nunzio (The Dark Kiss)
Bobby Lashley d. Matt Striker, Marcus CorVon, and Elijah Burke (Spear/PINN)
The EXTREME News: Sabu got fired, and his partner in crime, RVD got killed with a nasty looking chair shot. CM Punk picked up a victory, and the build for Judgment Day continued. The PPV is this Sunday, and I predict is will get more buys that TNA Sacrifice, but less than Wrestlemania. Also, TNA’s new World Heavyweight championship belt looks like the BIG GOLD BELT~!, but with a lot more pointy parts, possibly to use as a weapon. Russo probably designed it.
The EXTREME Recap: House is the greatest show on television. Yes, it may be repetitive, but I can completely relate to House’s negative disposition on life. Heroes is great as well, and the cheerleader was hot. She was in Remember the Titans when she was a small child, but that was many years ago. Anyway, on to the ECDub’ report.
It’s less than a week until the NEXT PPV, Judgment Day, and we start things off with a recap of last night’s events on Monday Night RAW. Lashley got his hands on Umaga and Shane, but was taken out by a belt shot from the mighty Dr. McMahon. Speaking of which, Dr. McMahon is live via satellite from backstage at the Smackdown/ECW tapings. He announces the main event of The New Breed vs. Bobby Lashley. I bet Striker takes the pin in that one because you can’t have one most black brother pin another one. That would be racist.
They didn’t even have time to put the ECW entrance way up this week? Or maybe it’s a new look? I call laziness. Regardless, RVD is in the ring, preparing to get berried by Snitsky, so we’ll take a break and be right back. Also, Sabu got fired. They wished him the best in his future endeavors. Hello to my new WrestleMag.com readers. I like you people a lot.
Back from break. Snitsky is walking to the ring, and my Lord, his bacne is the worse case of bacne that I have ever seen, and he is oiled up. I bet that’s what caused it. My grandma tells me that grease causes that sort of thing. Maybe he has an injury that needed healed so he took some steroids, but that would be making accusations. The crowd is really quiet. Somebody in the first row just hit the Randy Orton pose for the cameras. I used to do that in the dorms a lot, except I was naked and soaking wet from a shower. I wonder what CM Punk is doing on the show tonight.
Snitsky just yelled, “Shut up!” toward the crowd. The funny thing is that the crowd isn’t really saying anything. It’s similar to three weeks ago when Sandman yelled out, “Next week!” toward somebody, and the only thing that really happened was he got squashed by Snitsky. Wait a second. There’s the common denominator - Gene Snitsky. RVD is building some offense…or is it offence? I wish Microsoft Word would tell me something, but it isn’t, so I’m just leaving both. Snitsky snapped and took out RVD with a steel chair. The crowd is letting him know that he sucks. That chair shot must’ve sucked. Anyway, that’s over with. Let’s move on…after the commercial break. CM Punk is next. This makes me happy.
CM Punk brings us back from break. He’s wearing tape around his waist. Tazz informs me that this is because of the kick from one Elijah Burke last week. His opponent is Stevie/Steven Richards. This is possibly the fourth or fifth time they’ve met. I’m glad to see Richards is still employed. I wish he’d grow the mid-90s mullet back. His hair was awesome. Anyway, Stevie is a heel so, naturally, he attacks the ribs of Punk. The crowd is booing. They’re either booing Richards or they’re bored or both. Nice double-stomp onto Punk’s sternum from Richards. That could be considered a high-impact maneuver. Two knees from Punk then a bulldog reversed into a dropkick from Richards. Tornado DDT reversed into the GTS, and Punk takes the victory. As Joey Styles put it - “Richards up top for the Tornado DDT, but instead he’ll GO (pause) TO (pause) SLEEP.” Somewhere KENTA is weeping. That wasn’t a bad little match.
Backstage, we’ve got another awesome segment with the New Breed. I love how Monty Brown is always bouncing around during these segments. This should continue. Every week, he needs to be doing a different whacky exercise. It needs to be taken completely over the top. It would be great. Anyway, the gist of it is that CorVon wants a piece of Lashley, Burke is ready for Punk on Sunday, and Striker smells like defeat…or maybe it was fecal matter. BREAK. I bet the Major Brothers will be next, plus some whacky segment with Kevin Thorn.
I was partially right. Here comes Kevin Thorn with Ariel. He’ll be defeating Nunzio on this night. Thorn doesn’t break in the corner, and the referee tries to break it up. Somebody forgot to tell him that Mordecai has till five. The ref seems to trying to get himself over. I’ve never seen this one before. I don’t like him one bit. Here comes my ten month old nephew. He’s reaching for my laptop. Instead, he grabs the remote, and I bet he’ll try to change the channel. I’m going to wait and see what he does. He ran off with it, and I had to run after him to keep him from trying to climb the stairs. While all this was going on, Kevin Thorn won with the Dark Kiss. Time for a commercial break, but not before they inform us that Extreme Expose is next. I hate my life.
Extreme Expose did some stuff. I paid no attention to it all. I have yet to figure out their purpose. They just come out and do some bad dancing and nobody cares. Following this, we get the same promo that started the show. Lashley is talking, and it is great, not because he’s gotten any better at talking, but because the entire crowd is yelling, “WHAT?!” every time he pauses. I love crowds who do the opposite of what they’re supposed to. Styles and Tazz run down the Judgment Day card. I probably will not be ordering this, but the Great Khali match sounds as though it will be highly entertaining. The New Breed hits the ring. Matt Striker has awesome tights. Will Bobby Lashley defeat three men all at once before another one on three match at Judgment Day or will the crowd be completely apathetic? We’ll find out more after the break.
We’re back from break, and we are graced by the presence of Bobby Lashley. Burke starts the match out with Lashley, but tags in CorVon. I’ve actually looked forward to this one for a while. I do find it rather humorous that when put in the ring with guys like CorVon or Burke that Lashley doesn’t look all that big after all. Matt Striker just tagged himself in. I predict that he’ll take the pin fall here. Ooooh…sick bump to the floor from Striker. Lashley just screwed up the POUNCE~!…period. He just stopped and then threw himself over the top rope with little, if any, contact made. I hate Bobby Lashley. He has officially made my list. If you feel the need to find out what my list is, just e-mail me and ask me about it. There are plenty of people on it.
Okay, it’s 10:03 Central Standard Time, and this match is over. Lashley beat Striker.
Final Thoughts: The show seemed to drag a bit this week, but it did seem to do serve its purpose, which was to build toward the two ECW matches on the PPV. I would’ve appreciated a little more interaction between Punk and Burke, but I understand that Extreme Expose needed to be on the show.
credit: wrestlemag.com